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To Lavender, From Ron

by 'ow 'orrible, 'arry

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about

A rap song from Ron's point of view about his relationship with Lavender.

I started writing this a long while back, and finally finished and recorded it today.

lyrics

Holy Hell, and this is annoying me and I'm getting pissed
It's not 'Won-Won,' it's 'Ron,' yo, you fucking bitch.
Ron. Ronald Bilius Weasley. I know she's trying to please me
But it's making me queasy
It's too easy, so get the fuck off my arm,
I'm not trying to cause harm, so don't look at me alarmed
What, were you charmed? Did you drink a love potion?
Cause you're a portion of my arm, just like freckles or skin lotion
All this commotion: "Won-Won!" every time that I breathe
I wish that you would just leave. What, do I have to plead?
It was a mistake, my emotions were faked, and now you break
Cause these words I spit right here is the stake
That goes through your heart and makes you fall apart
No, please Lavender, please, no, don't start
You're crying is like an art that gets me every time
So even though Hermione's voice chimes
I look at you straight in the eyes,
And in a whiny voice, you ask "What?"
And I don't reply

Hermione, I love you, but I am stuck for now
I want to break up with her, but I just don't know how
Every time I try to speak up, her eyes just make me silent
Bloody Hell, Hermione, I swear that this girl is violent

I'm scared to death, Hermione, I don't wanna cause her any pain
But it's plain her tears stain me like rain, and her feelings that she has aren't feigned
She likes me for some reason, maybe it's just infatuation
But still it causes hesitation and frustration when I want to being up this situation
I know I'm to blame, and that causes me shame
I think of you're name and I just want to exclaim
"I am done with this game, I claim this wasn't my aim"
But still I became Lavender Brown's number one flame
It wasn't my intention, though is it even useful to mention?
I need an intervention from this deception and this tension
And now how can I openly question Harry on this topic,
When next to him, all of my problems are microscopic?
He'll just tell me, "Ron, stop it. Give back her locket, use logic
And dump that chaotic, psychotic bitch before it becomes more catastrophic ."
And he'd be right, but I don't have the bravery
The crazy or the daring to break free from this slavery
Though honestly the end results would just be savory.

Hermione, I love you, but I am stuck for now
I want to break up with her, but I just don't know how
Every time I try to speak up, her eyes just make me silent
Bloody Hell, Hermione, I swear that this girl is violent

So what more can I do? Come to you, asking for advice?
Would you be that nice or glare at me with a gaze of ice?
And that makes me think twice, to be precise, I must devise
A way out of this mess I made and lead myself to higher heights
But I do not know how - what path can I take?
Though my heart, it aches and breaks, for Lavender's sake
Should I call it fake? I'll go jump in the lake
And accept that I made mistakes I can't erase as my breath intakes
Bloody Hell, I must create some way to escape.

Hermione, I love you, but I am stuck for now
I want to break up with Lavender, but I don't know how
Every time I try to speak up, her eyes just make me silent
Bloody Hell, Hermione, I swear that this girl is violent

Hermione, I love you, but I am stuck for now
I want to break up with Lavender, but I don't know how
Every time I try to speak up, her eyes just make me silent
Bloody Hell, Hermione, I swear that this girl is violent

credits

released November 10, 2012
Lyrics written by me, also recorded by me.
The movie clip at the end is from the sixth Harry Potter film (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

'ow 'orrible, 'arry Muncie, Indiana

Solo wizard rock project by one of the two members of The Secret Broom Cupboard of Salazar Slytherin. Completely vocal, with no intentions on doing parodies or finding ways to create the facade of instruments. Lyrics all written by myself, and recorded on an ancient microphone (hence the quality). ... more

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